paul from cleveland

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Posts by paul from cleveland

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  28

  Do Jehovah’s Witnesses shoot their own wounded?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was disfellowshipped when i was going through my first bipolar episode.

  several months before being disfellowshipped, i started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until i finally started having delusions.

  i began to think i was jesus (literally) so i was disfellowshipped for apostasy.

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  paul from cleveland

  I laugh about it now. It's all so ridiculous.
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  28

  Do Jehovah’s Witnesses shoot their own wounded?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was disfellowshipped when i was going through my first bipolar episode.

  several months before being disfellowshipped, i started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until i finally started having delusions.

  i began to think i was jesus (literally) so i was disfellowshipped for apostasy.

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  paul from cleveland

  I have to mention this also. (more details on why I'm considered apostate) I not only told the elders at the Judicial Committee that I was Jesus, I said my first act at Armageddon was to destroy the Jehovah's Witnesses since they were the Great Harlot of Revelation, etc. etc. I was going on and on like this... just crazy talk. The presiding overseer just put up his hand and said "Stop! What do you want... to be disfellowshipped or disassociated?"

  After they disfellowshipped me, I got on a plane to Washington to 'see president Clinton' and tell him my 'views'. I wouldn't wear shoes because 'Jesus wouldn't have to wear shoes'. (I'm sure if this was after 9/11, I wouldn't have gotten so far) I did many many other crazy things that I don't even remember (people just told me later). Finally the police caught me when I was running down the street ripping my clothes off. I was crying, telling them that now I was the antichrist. They handcuffed me and took me to the nearest hospital, but since I didn't have insurance, they had to take me to the county hospital. I don't remember much, but it wasn't very nice. After I was properly medicated for a couple weeks, I was stablized. I felt like I had awoken from a very bad dream.

  I think my family still believes I'm really an apostate.
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  28

  Do Jehovah’s Witnesses shoot their own wounded?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was disfellowshipped when i was going through my first bipolar episode.

  several months before being disfellowshipped, i started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until i finally started having delusions.

  i began to think i was jesus (literally) so i was disfellowshipped for apostasy.

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  paul from cleveland

  I don't know how to answer that. For years I've felt free. I've felt that if I could be disfellowshipped for the reason I was, how many other people are disfellowshipped for reasons beyond their control? For it to be the truth (in my mind), it has to work for everyone, not just some of the people. People can't just fall through the cracks.

  Lately, however, I've begun to have doubts. I've become afraid that maybe I'm just wrong. Perhaps I'm using my experience as an excuse not to go back. When you're raised as a Witness, the fear is so ingrained. Sometimes I think, 'I'm not going back because I shouldn't be serving God out of fear'. Then I think 'I should go back because if these are the last days, and they parallel the days of Noah, I'm supposed to be afraid'.

  My thoughts are going in circles... I don't know if I'm starting another episode or my thoughts are legitimate.

  btw, I don't feel the elders treatment was rotten. I just think what happened to me wouldn't have happened in God's true organization. (I know I'm just one person but if the hairs on our head are numbered...)
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  28

  Do Jehovah’s Witnesses shoot their own wounded?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was disfellowshipped when i was going through my first bipolar episode.

  several months before being disfellowshipped, i started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until i finally started having delusions.

  i began to think i was jesus (literally) so i was disfellowshipped for apostasy.

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  paul from cleveland

  "I am curious if you don't mind sharing, how did your family and JC Elders respond to you after having been diagnosed?"

  The elders have never contacted me since I've been disfellowshipped. I don't know what, if anything, they know about my situation. I haven't contacted them either because, right after the whole experience, I felt this can't be Jehovah's organization. It just can't be... so I never went back. Like I said, I didn't feel bitter... I actually felt free. (Until about a month ago, but that's another story) Also, I felt that if I had another episode, I may be disfellowshipped again. I have had several since then.

  Regarding my family, they still shun me. They know about my situation but can't, in good conscience, talk to me unless I'm reinstated. I don't blame them... they think they're doing the right thing. Plus, I'm sure they feel it's not worth risking their eternal future to talk to their brother. In their mind, they're helping me. I might be doing the same thing if I hadn't had this experience.

  (Ynot, I've already returned your email several days ago)
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  28

  Do Jehovah’s Witnesses shoot their own wounded?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was disfellowshipped when i was going through my first bipolar episode.

  several months before being disfellowshipped, i started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until i finally started having delusions.

  i began to think i was jesus (literally) so i was disfellowshipped for apostasy.

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  paul from cleveland

  I was disfellowshipped when I was going through my first bipolar episode. Several months before being disfellowshipped, I started to develop the symptoms of bipolar disorder: rapid thoughts, sleepless nights, etc., until I finally started having delusions. I began to think I was Jesus (literally) so I was disfellowshipped for apostasy. The elders just didn't recognize the the symptoms since they had no experience with it. Several weeks later I landed in the County mental hospital (no insurance, no support system). After two weeks there, I was stabilized but had lost my friends and family at a time when I needed them most. This was back in 1995.

  When I “came to” I wasn’t bitter but in a state of disbelief. How can this happen? Where is the Good Samaritan? The only ones that helped me were some Catholic acquaintances. How can this be God’s organization if the most vulnerable members are treated this way?

  I really don’t have a problem with Jehovah’s Witnesses doctrinally but I haven't gone back. I'm still not bitter. It’s simply that ‘everything looks good on paper’, but just doesn’t always work in real life.

  Has anyone had a similar experience?

  (btw, this experience taught me the real lesson of the Good Samaritan: God doesn't care what religion you are as long as you treat others kindly.)
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  121

  Am i correct?

  by angel eyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is just an obsevation from me...ok i dont mean to annoy anyone but is it true or just me?.

  i feel that ones raised in the truth are so much better of than us who came in from the world.

  i say that because they have family who are witnesses too.

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  paul from cleveland

  I don't know if the Society, by always encouraging us to associate with those who were spiritually stronger than us, realizes that they are creating a social vacuum for those at the bottom. Children who have an unbelieving parent; men who "should" be been servants but aren't; women who have an unbelieving spouse, etc., feel left out. They can't associate with the world yet they aren't included in many Witness social activities either. They may have an easier time than "born ins" if they decide to leave but life for them as a Witness can be very lonely.
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  121

  Am i correct?

  by angel eyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is just an obsevation from me...ok i dont mean to annoy anyone but is it true or just me?.

  i feel that ones raised in the truth are so much better of than us who came in from the world.

  i say that because they have family who are witnesses too.

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  paul from cleveland

  I don't think she's being self righteous at all, she's just saying she's frustrated. She feels that children of witnesses have a great support system and she doesn't. They're insulated from the world ("wrapped in cotton wool"). Not only do their parents support them by studying with them "forever", other brothers and sisters help them by studying with them as well. She, on the other hand, has to live in the world without that support. Since she feels she's out in the world alone, the witnesses make it harder for her by continually talking about how bad the world is. They just talk about it, she has to live in it! ("they run the world down yet thats my home")

  She's most likely here to find the support and 'community' she doesn't feel she's getting at the Kingdom Hall.
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  121

  Am i correct?

  by angel eyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is just an obsevation from me...ok i dont mean to annoy anyone but is it true or just me?.

  i feel that ones raised in the truth are so much better of than us who came in from the world.

  i say that because they have family who are witnesses too.

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  paul from cleveland

  I don't think Angel Eyes was saying that those who are raised in the truth are better than others, just that they have it easier than others (She wrote "better of" but most likely meant "better off") . She mentions that they have the support of their families who study with them and protect them. She's just saying that it's harder for her, coming from the world, having had to readjust her whole lifestyle without a family to support her.
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  7

  Apostates and others meeting in the Blue Ridge Mts. Pa. see video

  by the research lady in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a live webcast of the witnesses now for jesus convention will start friday morning oct. 16,2009 and many parts of the program will be broadcast through sunday oct. 18,2009 for you to enjoy on your computer screen.

  the upper room ministries website will act as host and staging agent for getting you the right links to receive the webcast.

  www.upperroomministriesnewengland.com information regarding a schedule of events and when they will be taking place will be posted on this site by monday oct. 12,2009. during the convention if you have any questions while viewing on line, you will be able to e-mail them to [email protected] please be advised that in webcasting events there can be many technical issues , especially from rural areas where signals sometimes are weak.

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  paul from cleveland

  Is anyone from Cleveland going to this? (Or passing through Cleveland?)
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  35

  Depression in the Org.

  by ssn587 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it never seems to be brought up in jah's so wonderful org.

  but depression seems rampant, i can name 7-10 people right now on antidepreswsant drugs.

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  paul from cleveland

  People are depressed because the New Order hasn't come. It was expected to come years ago. (Proverbs 13:12 Expectation postponed is making the heart sick)